Delayed In Cheeseland

The weather is very deceiving right now.
It’s one of those cold, sunny days that old people rave about, or at least my grandparents do. “Oh it’s just so lovely, don’t you think Sarah?” No, no I do not. Maybe I would like Wisconsin’s manic weather if I had the luxury of sitting in a warm, comfortable room and drinking tea but I guess riding the bus with frozen toes and sour coffee comes in a close second.
So now, in order to avoid the nauseating glare of the sun, I am sat outside an airport bathroom. Yes, that’s right. My flight this morning got canceled and the next one to New York isn’t for a couple hours so I figured I would use my excess time to write since it seems I never have time to anymore which is a “real bummer” as I always say to the kids at my job.
I’m in an interesting place right now. And I don’t just mean because I’m outside an airport bathroom. Naturally, I get a little nervous whenever I go back to visit New York. Being in the city that I thought I would never leave always stirs up weird and, at times, unwanted emotions. Sometimes I get sad that I left Brooklyn but I have no doubt that my decision to come to Wisconsin was a good one; a life changing one.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a dramatic range of feelings as I have these past 4 months. Going back to school after taking a year off was hard, it was real hard man. I felt myself spacing out during class, forgetting proper ways to cite, and most definitely not remembering anything I had ever learned in Spanish. And then on top of that, I gradually piled on more and more work hours eventually working 3 jobs, 30 hours a week. I felt like I was going insane, shit I was insane.
And then when I get back from New York, I will be moving into my apartment in Milwaukee with a girl I found on Craigslist. There are a couple reasons I’m nervous to move out 1) I do not know how to cook (can I survive on 3 meals a day of cereal? This is an open ended question, feel free to respond) 2) I HAVE NO FURNITURE EXCEPT FOR A FUCKING RECLINER 3) because of the mere fact that I found my roommate on Craigslist. But, nonetheless, I am still very excited to be moving out. However, it will be strange not being told every morning “how to make the perfect soft boiled egg” by my grandpa and not having my grandma put books like “Why You Should Marry Jewish” casually on my nightstand.
“Well it sounds like you’re making a lot of great decisions Sarah, that is so exciting for you” – every random adult I encounter. Yeah, I guess I am. I’m proud of myself for embracing my situation and creating something new for myself but it’s certainly not easy. There’s something incredibly exhilarating about the unknown but something also absolutely terrifying about it.
But I suppose all I can do is take everything one step at a time. So for starters, let’s see if the man at the deli remembers my coffee order.
He promised me he would.


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