I’m trying this new thing where I only worry about things I have control over. Obviously this is easier said than done but here is a brief synopsis of my day:
Every morning I wake up and say to myself “this is going to be a good day” (even when I look outside the window and see that it’s snowing in the middle of November). I then go through my drawer trying to find my grandpa socks (you know, those obnoxiously fuzzy ones you only wear with certain boots, I know I’m not alone with this). Then comes the exciting part, choosing which sweater to wear. Let it be known, I have an obsession with sweaters. Sweater weather is the best kind of weather! Well not really but when it comes to being lazy and fashionable it is. So between grandpa socks and sweaters, my mornings start off very eventful.
Research (and by research I mean unreliable search engines) shows that men think about sex once every minute… or some crazy statistic along those lines. Well I probably think about coffee once every minute. Which brings me to my next crucial decision of the day; coffee. How much of it will I drink? Do I want to be adventurous and try a new flavor? Which coffeehouse will I go to? Where will I sit?
Once I’ve decided upon these essential details, I turn on my computer and pick a song that I will listen to on repeat. Usually about 500 times, until I am singing it in the shower, in my sleep, and inappropriate times such as Shabbat dinner with my grandparents.
Alright, so now I’m rockin my grandpa socks and my fashionable sweater while drinking coffee and listening to the same song for about an hour. This is when I open a word document and start to write. I’m doing this thing called NaNoWriMo which stands for National Novel Writing Month. It’s basically a national writing competition in which you try to reach 50,000 words by the end of November (I’m not quite that far yet but we wont talk about that right now). I’ve been working on this everyday, in fact, several hours everyday. I like writing because you are pretty much playing the role of God (except in my case, a God that sits behind a shitty computer that dies every five minutes). When writing, you have the power to bare a beautiful, fictional story into the world. Which is really cool when you think about it. I get to decide if my character will cross the street or if they get hit by a car or if they are going to try and sneak some gluten free, raisin bread that they are forbidden from eating (oh wait, that ones real life).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that that we have a lot of control over some things in life… and not so much over others. Sometimes I forget that I’m not a train ride away from the city I thought I would never leave. But instead of sulking about how the bus system here sucks, I look at everyday as full of possibility. Of course, there are some days that are better than others. But I’ve learned that fixating on the aspects of your life you’re unhappy with doesn’t make you happy. It doesn’t do anything.
So yes, I do take pride in the small decisions I make everyday like my socks and the coffee I drink. Because it is these decisions that bring me one step closer to bigger and better ones. And focusing on the things I can change makes everyday a little more worthwhile.
But I should also mention that finding a snack in my grandparents house besides prunes has certainty helped.