The Local Coffeehouse

I’m being entirely serious when I say that one of the deciding factors of coming out to Wisconsin was the local coffeehouse. I love coffeehouses. They are great places to study, read, hang out with friends, or even go by yourself. They’re one of the few places where you can sit down alone and not be judged, I think that’s really cool.
It was weird to walk in and see multiple seats open because that was never the case in New York. As I stood in line to order coffee, I quickly remembered that I had left all my money in my other bag and only had my debit card on me. Oh, my debit card. Its essentially become a game every time I purchase something with it. This one time in Brooklyn, I tried to buy a banana and a small coffee with my debit card and my purchase got denied. I guess you can say not being able to afford a god damn banana  is a pretty low point in ones life, especially because I ended up paying for it in all change. So anyway I decided to take the risk of humiliation and purchased a medium coffee, yes that’s right medium. I’m still not sure how much money I have on my debit card but I had at least a dollar. The cashier handed over the coffee and then complimented me on my dress, I had a very girly moment and was like “omg thanks!”
I made my way to a small, oak table, put my coffee down and scoped the crowd. I have this weird fantasy that I will meet my soul mate in a coffeehouse. However, today didn’t seem likely considering the guy next to me was like 80 years old and picking his nose. Feeling disappointed by the lack of potential soul mates, I started listening to Destiny’s Child on my computer. I’m filling out a job application and feeling at one with my inner sass when I see an older man making his way towards me. Low and behold, it’s my grandpa. He comes and sits down next to me and I’m feeling really embarrassed, I mean my future husband could be in there! He asks me if I want to go to the hardware store with him and I kindly pass on that offer.
After about ten minutes of being an independent lady, I really had to pee so I packed up my stuff and went to the bathroom. The bathroom there is so nice! At the coffeehouse I went to at home, they had the bathroom key attached to big, rusty metal spoon and it was always grimy from soap residue. I’m not really sure why I went there because it was awful. Plus there were always crack heads sitting outside. One time my friend and I were studying and this lady pulled up a seat at our table (keep in mind there are several open seats) and starts arranging slices of cucumbers on the bare table. And then all of her weird, questionable groceries fell all over the floor and I had to walk away because I couldn’t contain my laughter.
So understandably, I like the coffeehouse here in Milwaukee much more than the one in Brooklyn. Who knows, maybe next time I’ll meet my soul mate.


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